August 22, 2010

PESA CHAFU: Would You Date A Guy Who Made Money Illegally?

Would you date a man who made his money illegally? Sure, he’s not broke. He may be fly and have money, but is that really good enough?Look,
 there’s no woman out there who doesn’t want to be taken care of. Not any of the ones I know at least. She doesn’t need to be taken care of, but it’s just nice. If a man has a job, even if it’s illegal, then he’s able to take you out, buy you things and handle business financially. Security is attractive. If dude sells drugs, but is nice to me, does that mean I shouldn’t let him? Who am I to not let a drug dealer be a good boyfriend? A man with a job – illegal or not - is not attractive solely based on the fact that he has money. It’s because he can handle responsibilities.


With that being said, is it really responsible to have an illegal gig? I mean if he can hit the block on a day to day basis, certainly he can go get a legitimate sales job and still make money. And if he’s going to be involved with you romantically, he’s involving you in his risky life. Are you okay with someone putting you in a compromising situation?

As superficial as this may sound, no woman wants a man without. “He has to have a car, he needs to have a job, he has to have this, he has to have that…” And to have all of those things he needs to have money. He doesn’t have to be rich – although that wouldn’t hurt – but he does have to have enough to pay bills and take you out. If a man can handle having and maintaining things, then hopefully he can handle having and maintaining the woman he’s involved with. If who I’m dating makes money “illegally” but handles it well, I’m going to give credit where it’s due. You know what they say, the way you treat your money is the way you treat people.

We’ve all met the guy who does absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, they do exist. No car, no school, no job, no hustle, no nothing. And there’s no good reason. Just a big walking excuse. And then we’ve all had an encounter with the guy that just doesn’t do enough. They have a job, but they still live with their momma. Or they have everything – car, job, money – and feel like they don’t have to cater to anyone but themselves. If I can find a guy, who happens to be a big time drug dealer, takes me out and buys me nice things and treats me good, why wouldn’t I give him the time of day?

The reality of it is that if you’re a drug dealer or involved in any kind of illegal activities as work, you probably have enemies. Enemies usually want to hurt you. And although you’re very nice Mr. Drug Dealer, I’m not sure if I can go out like that. Maybe you’re okay with risking your life, but I’m not okay with you risking mine. It’s just not acceptable. Especially since we’re only dating. Call me funny, but I’m just not the kind of girl to put my life on the line for a nice dinner and a glass of Moscato.


At first, it may seem exciting. He’s well off. He treats you good. He takes you out. He’s mysterious. You don’t know what he does, but you know he’s up to no good. I get it. Being with the bad boy is kind of cool…in the movies (See Belly Intro below).

Hata Hivyo, Haya Ndio Maisha Ya Kweli.

.............King David.............

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